Harangue 1: Lawn

I feel a bit schizophrenic lately as my life and profession requires me to be polite, persuasive, and patient.  I must say that I don't often feel that way when faced with certain circumstances...or people.  My true feelings tend to erupt (accurate word) when I'm home and my wonderful spouse listens patiently to the harangue. This is another reason for this blog.  You see, although I am a curmudgeon, I do enjoy my family life and don't mean to keep alluding to hermit life.  So I can now spew my harangue into the faceless void.  And you, dear reader, can read or not as you see fit. And I don't need to worry about convincing you or changing your mind, or being polite!

If you do finish the harangue, I suppose I do hope you'll be educated and want to change some aspects of your life or at least read up on things to see if I'm a complete nut or not.  Or you can do what most people do: nothing.

My main gripe, today, is that I don't understand how people can exist in a state so completely clueless about what they're doing in their own front yard.  Even otherwise intelligent people.

Take lawns for instance. What is it with lawns?! Why do you need so damn much fertilized, pesticided, herbicided, clipped, lymed, seeded, watered, brushed (yes, I observed this with my own eyes) lawn?  Do you know what an environmental wasteland lawn is?  One species, almost always not native to the area, and little to nothing living in it. No beneficial insects, no butterflies, bees, birds, pollinators, no diversity, no sense.  As we continue to build when every other house remains "For Sale", we wipe out more and more habitat for species other than ourselves. And how long do you think we'll be around once we've polluted our water?

For those of you not in the know, when John and Jane decide to clear every tree, bush, and plant from their yard (save the "ornamentals" -- read: not native) to create lawn, they are obliterating habitat for insects and pollinators that we need to grow crops, and make food. When additives are placed on the lawns without a soil test to determine whether they're needed, they are washed off during the next rain and enter our storm drains which, by the way, do not go to a treatment system. These storm drains are taking the additives from John and Jane's lawn and are releasing them into the rivers and streams. This polluted water is hotter than it would otherwise be because there is no dratted shade on the property.  So we have hot polluted runoff killing our fish and poisoning our waters.  Nice lawn!

What is it with the lawn?  I rarely see an adult or child playing on the lawn.  If your kids actually play on the lawn, do you really need so much lawn? Can't you have a smaller lawn area not preternaturally greened for them to play on? And then add a meadow and native platings?  Wouldn't a meadow filled with native plants, flowers and butterflies be more attractive to a adults and children?  Wouldn't shrubs that they can hide in be more fun?  Wouldn't a permeable walkway surrounded by the plants, bushes, and trees that have lived here for hundreds of years and who have nurtured wildlife, birds and beneficial insects be more of a paradise than grass?

Then there is cutting it.  Hiring people to cut, blow, -icide it.  Do you know how much gas and energy that uses? And all those clippings are taken away. Why not push mow it?  That will limit the size!  Leave the clippings to provide nutrients back to the soil. Use less gas. Stop making so much noise.

What is lawn for?  Is it supposed to make us look smart or affluent?  Well, it doesn't. It just makes us look ignorant.